Anonymous said: Hey John, I love your blog and the way you answer peoples questions so I thought I'd ask for advice! I'm a 15 year old girl and am trying to lose some weight. I don't think I'm huge or anything but my boyfriend thinks I am. He said he doesn't find me attractive anymore and I should lose some weight. I tried but failed and he got really pissed and said to eat less. I tried again and I was doing well, I only ate 7 apples all week! Nothing else (YAY!) Anyway, I splurged and ate heaps (continue)
(continue)I ate a sandwich and 3 Oreo cookies all in one sitting. I told him and he got really mad and hit me. It hurt a lot (I guess I deserved it though) and I’m trying really hard not to stuff up again. Can you give me some tips on how to stay on track and get back to eating one a apple a day? I know I can do it but just need some extra advice! thank you :)
Thanks for writing. I’d love to help you. I’ll address my thoughts in the order you wrote them.
First, any boy / man that tells you they aren’t attracted to you because they think you are huge doesn’t deserve you. You are beautifully made just how you are and if he doesn’t see that, leave that man/child behind. This is your body. You own it and if you want to get more fit that is one thing, but if a boy thinks he has the right to control your body, that my friend is a big red flag.
Second, any boy / man that would hit you is scum. There is no other way to put it that does not involve cussing. Dear anon, no matter what you did, you did not deserve to be hit. Let me repeat that, no matter what you did, you did not deserve to be hit! Any boy / man that thinks he had the right to hit you for any reason is no man to me. If you were my daughter, i’d be hunting this child down. No joke.
Finally, I can’t help you with advice on getting to an apple a day eating. That just isn’t healthy. At any age, but especially 15, your body needs protein, and fat and carbohydrates to grow and develop. Restricting yourself to an apple a day for weight loss is both dangerous and ineffective. I healthy diet of all food groups and cardio and weightlifting is much more healthy.
So here are my recommendations dear anon.
- Tell your parents about what happened. They need to know someone hit you. If you can’t do that for some reason, tell a guidance counselor. Get someone in your corner that can help resolve this.
- Dump his ass. If he hit you once, it will happen again and will probably get worse.
- If you want to get more fit, there are lots of healthy resources here to help you do that, though honestly I think this is by far a secondary concern to your safety.
Good luck dear anon. (Hugs)